A friend asked a question, when is it a date or a meeting and what if one is married.

Gee, this question really has me thinking, I could head straight into one scenario and focus there but I feel that there are many important factors involved. Namely, where the meeting took place, who is involved, most certainly expectations involved, to that end I will look at each in turn!

OK, so where the meeting takes place, there are many different options and to be fair each one takes some consideration, there is the cold cold meeting at the cinema (why this is ever considered a date destination is beyond me, ‘Hi fancy coming out with me, then sitting in silence for 2 hours?’ so very romantic!) I consign this to the realm of friends and established relationships, you know, the ones where you don’t have to talk to each other, the same could be said for concerts (although there is more contact involved as you are forced together by the throng, in fact the intimacy of that coupled with the sweat and the excitement could be counted as foreplay and could lead to other things, having reconsidered, concerts are definitely dates!). In the pub, this can be either, a nice beer and a how do you do (so to speak) the trouble arises that when does that drink become a date, surely a couple of beers and then goodnight is a meeting where as a whole night out is certainly a date! I tend to feel that alcohol does relax both parties and as such makes for an easier first meeting/date. In a restaurant, definite date, but fraught with danger! What if there is nothing to talk about, what if the service is crap and ruins the night, what if the wine is bad, what if the person you are with is great but then tips badly, what if the food is so bad one of you has to complain, shit, there are too many outside chances for errors there!!!! Dinner at home with wine, obvious date, also fraught with danger, what if food goes wrong (give more wine), what if you run out of things to talk about, what if you don’t like the other and they don’t get the hint and leave or the opposite and one thing leads to another. In my opinion the best solution, meet in the pub beforehand (neutral territory) have a couple of beers (not too many, no-one likes a drunk) and then, if all goes well, proceed to home for food and some wine where you embark on the date and where that finishes is down to the participants.

Now then, the most sensitive part, who is involved and what are the expectations, the most import factor here is that the people have not met but are about to, this has the ring of a blind date but it is not that simple. A blind date is relatively simple, friends introduce two people who think will get on and they all go out, drink and see where things go. Two people who have met say, over the net, will already have ideas about each other and certain nervousness or unfamiliarity will be lost as they almost have a form of relationship already. To that end they should be aware of what they are expecting before the date/meeting otherwise things can go wrong, quickly and jeopardise whatever was there before. On the issue of say, one being married and the other being single then, of course it is complicated but not unworkable, it is all down to whether the single party can handle meeting/dating a married person, especially if they believe it may lead to something physical, and again, ground rules need to be set to ensure no misunderstandings or people getting hurt.

So I suppose, in conclusion, a meeting and a date can occur at the same time and really it is down to those involve as to what happens and when!